Rainy Day, Sunny Outlook!

I woke up exactly when I wanted to even though I forgot to put the delay brew on my coffee maker. I love waking up to the smell of coffee, something about it really makes me feel content in the morning and more of a morning person then I ever thought I could be. I even made myself a cheese omelet.

I have to say living on my own has been the best thing. I'm starting to find that being that independant is causing me to be that much more mature.

Getting gas this morning... was rediculous. I had to go around the direct route to that gas station becuase the road has been closed due to consturtion. Well, because that one little road was closed, it caused more traffice on the main road through my town.... therefore causing it to take about ten minutes just to get to a gas station that would normally only take me two minutes to get to. Then I had to get out of the gas station, what a nightmare! People are so rude to block you into a driveway. It took me twenty five minutes just to get gas and get to work! Of course... I was late.

Even though its been rainy all morning and my trying to get gas this morning was a mess leading me to be late to work... I still feel as if my day is great. Something about this morning just caused me to really have a sunny outlook on a rainy, depressing day.

I must admit, I love the sound of the rain.

Mr. Right Dilemma

For the past few years I've been in crappy relationships and quite disappointed that I hadn't found Mr. Right. Is there even a Mr. Right anyway? I mean... everyone I know seems to have or have had something to complain about as if they honestly couldn't stand the person they were with. Now I understand that no one is perfect and everyone does make mistakes and have their quirks... but I've just always thought that there was someone out there who had the nearly the same mistake making and quirks, which in turn would cause them to be... well... pretty much a perfect match. It's not true though is it? There is no such thing as a perfect match or nearly perfect match.... it's like having friends it seems. You like to be around them for the most part, but then you also just sort of deal with them in order to fill that void. Best friends just being less to just deal with and more actually enjoying their company and it seems that being in love with someone is the same.

Can you honestly say you are "In Love" with someone? I mean... I hear all this crap about all the different degree's of love... family, friends, and then that special someone. Is that even true, do you love people differently, because to be honest I don't think I do. I love all the same... which really as of right now I feel only means you care for them. I really am beginning to believe that there is no such thing as being "In Love" with someone. It's only what we wish we could have, and whats thrown in moves and books to make you believe you have or can have it. A way again, of just filling the void and the question on whether such a thing could exist. If there was such a thing as true love... why is it that I could want to be with more then one person at once. How can you love and think you could be "In Love" with more then one? Does this mean I would just need to choose who I can deal with being with for the rest of my life? I'm so lost in all this that I almost don't want to ever be "In Love" or with anyone for that matter, ever.

I'd rather be alone and have that void remain a void rather then trying to figure out what the best path to take is. It's like deciding on job... if you take the wrong one the other offers most likely wont still be there when you realize that the job you took was not one you really wanted. What if the real thing, Mr. Right, was there and you didn't choose him and was gone forever? Could you find another and if so, how was the first one Mr. Right?

What A Dilemma!